


everyone who pretended to like me

by jaekyu



Series: all my friends are wasted [1]
Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7, K-pop, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dysfunctional Relationships, Ensemble Cast, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6477880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekyu/pseuds/jaekyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Love, as it turns out, is more like a match. You’ve got one chance so you better make it count.</i> Or, Brian and Ayeon do this all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everyone who pretended to like me

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS JYP NEW GEN ENSEMBLE FIC for all my fellow stans. it contains a lot of characters, way more pairings then i listed in the tags and a lot of fuckery. some btob's, a uniq and a monsta x show up too. 
> 
> also, i love this 'verse. if you wanna ask me about it i have a [fic tumblr](http://twoyoons.tumblr.com/)

Dear So-and-So, I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your party  
Dear So-and-So, I’m sorry I came to your party and seduced you  
(richard siken)

 

You spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I’ve felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I’ve been pretending I’m okay, just to get along, just for, I don’t know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own.

Well, fuck everybody.

(SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK)

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a group of friends in their early-twenties with no discernible direction in life must be in want of - well, plenty of things.

Money, mostly, and maybe some good sex and usually some cheap booze. They want someone to tell them how to live their life so they have a reason to say no.

But that ruins the metaphor, doesn’t it?

Let’s make this a little simpler, let’s make this a little more modern: this place, and all of them, are pretty hopeless.

No one is finding love.

 

 

 

Brian buys his cigarettes from a corner store that’s a five minute walk from the apartment he shares with Jae and Sungjin. The girl who is usually at the counter is always chewing gum and she always flirts with Brian even though he’s too old for her. Maybe she flirts with him because he’s too old for her.

She looks like she’s in high school, with her eyeliner thin and black and coloured hair and probably a lot of misplaced anger. Her name tag says _Dahyun_.

Brian thinks about telling her things they never tell you in high school that they should: no, not everything works out the way expect, in fact, a lot of things don’t. Or, you’re going to graduate, sure, and you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling like you let your parents down in some way.

Adults suck, then you are one.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because she’s going to find it all out on her own anyway. Instead, Brian just says, “what kind of bubblegum is that?”

The girl behind the counter - her name is Dahyun, that’s what her name tag says - she pops her gum and points to a display below her in front of the counter. Brian buys a pack along with his cigarettes.

 

 

 

The apartment Brian, Jae and Sungjin live in is a “renovated” - in the loosest sense of the word - former art gallery that went under a few years back. The three of them never visited before it did but they’ve all agreed the art was probably shit.

The place is not without its industrial aesthetic charm, sure, with high ceilings and a wall of exposed brick, but what they really meant by “renovated” on the listing was that they put up a bunch of walls to make some bedrooms and left it at that.

It lacks in a lot of basic comforts. They don’t have a dishwasher or nearly enough outlets around the house. They’ve downgraded to an extensive collection of extension cords and power bars just about everywhere, which are one of these days going to start an electrical fire. At least they’ll have an excuse to move out.

These things just kind of happen when you’re living in a building no one was ever meant to actually live in. Comfortable living? So blase, it’s a thing of the past.

It used to be four of them. When they signed the lease the first time, there was four of them. There are four bedrooms and they bought a bigger couch so they could all use it at once, though Jae took to sprawling his long limbs out on it and taking up all the room.

Jaebum was the fourth. He had the bedroom next to Sungjin, across the hall from Jae, diagonal from Brian. They worked as a quartet.

(They work, now, a little less so as a trio. No one mentions it).

Jaebum moved out a year after they signed the lease. Nayeon asked him to move in with her so Jaebum moved out from their bachelor pad because he was on his way to not being a bachelor anymore. He moved in with his girlfriend.

You know how this story ends. Girlfriend dumps Boyfriend and tells him to Get The Fuck Out, only Nayeon is too polite for that. She probably sat Jaebum down and explained the situation nicely and quietly, which is what makes her so hard to hate. All of this despite that unwritten Bro Code that tells Brian, Sungjin and Jae they should hate her.

Moving on.

Boyfriend becomes Ex-Boyfriend and Ex-Boyfriend starts Crashing At His Old Bachelor Pad With His Bros, sometimes. On the couch.

“You can move back in,” Sungjin says to Jaebum a lot these days. Jaebum shrugs and shrinks further into their couch cushions, phone clutched in his grip. Sungjin mumbles under his breath that they should at least get a guest bed.

Brian understands why Jaebum doesn’t want to move back in. Moving back in is admitting defeat, it’s admitting that he and Nayeon are officially over. That’s it. Moving back in is abandoning any hope that they’ll stop being separate entities and become a whole again.

Jaebum is still in love with Nayeon. As long he is he won’t move back in.

 

 

 

Here’s the thing about love: it’s not like flint. You don’t get to keep striking it over and over again hoping for enough sparks to start a fire.

Love, as it turns out, is more like a match. You’ve got one chance so you better make it count.

 

 

 

It’s Sana’s birthday.

“You don’t have to go,” Jae tells Brian. Of course Brian doesn’t have to go. He can do whatever he wants and he doesn’t need Jae to remind him. He knows. Brian doesn’t have to go.

Only it’s Sana’s birthday and they’re all invited. Brian’s already clicked _I’m going_ on the Facebook Event. Momo found this bar across town where she’s going to make everyone buy Sana drinks and wish her girlfriend a happy birthday. Brian wants to go, too, because Sana’s his friend.

“Ayeon’s invited,” Jae repeats, “you really don’t have to go. Feign illness. I’ll tell everyone you ate bad sushi and can’t step more than five feet away from the toilet at any given moment. Both ends.”

“I appreciate that you’d humiliate me for my own good like that,” Brian replies, face scrunched up in disgust. He doesn’t even eat sushi.

“No problem, man,” Jae’s wearing this ugly cardigan. Brian isn’t going to tell him it’s ugly, satisfied with passive aggressive petty revenge.

(In an another apartment a few streets down, Jae and Brian don’t know this, but Jimin says to Ayeon, “you don’t have to go,” while she’s slathering on lip gloss.

“Brian’s invited,” Jimin puckers up her lips at her own reflection, says, “you really don’t have to go.”)

(No one knows this but us: in two different apartments with two different sets of friends that are separate parts of a larger whole, at the same time Brian and Ayeon both say, “I’ll go, it’ll be fine,”)

 

 

 

An aside:

Jaebum doesn’t always crash on the couch in his old apartment.

Everyone knows this but they don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about how if Jaebum isn’t kicking cushions off of his old couch to make room he’s carving out a space for himself in Jinyoung’s bed with fingernails dragging down Jinyoung’s back and his teeth biting into Jinyoung’s shoulder.

Everyone knows.

They don’t talk about it.

Maybe that’s part of why Jaebum won’t move back in. Maybe it’s less about still being in love with Nayeon and more about waiting for Jinyoung to love him back.

The problem with all this is Jinyoung’s never been a monogamist. He’s kind of the exact opposite. Gay as the day is a long and will suck any dick if he’s asked nice enough.

(If Sungjin ever heard someone say that he’d furrow his brow and say _don’t talk about him like that_.

But more on that later).

No one judges him for it. They’re all sort of equally fucked up in their own way. But it’s the reason Jaebum can’t spend every night in Jinyoung’s apartment. Every once and awhile someone steals the spot in Jinyoung’s bed first.

Those nights Jaebum knocks on the door to his apartment and Brian lets him in. Brian goes downstairs to have a cigarette and Jaebum takes his spot on the couch.

They don’t talk about it.

 

 

 

When their group gets together like this it always organized chaos. Light on the organized, heavy on the chaos. They’re not a small group of friends, by any means, and while little pockets of them are closer than others, days like these they’re all quick to get together.

Sana is infectious. Her laugh, her smile, the light in her eyes, all of it. Even if they weren’t all close enough to gravitate to one another Sana would probably manage to pull them all together anyway. That’s how magnets work, after all - opposite forces and all that.

They’ve sanctioned off a whole far corner of the bar for the party, three bar tables pushed together to make one long one, piled with presents and empty cups a waitress comes by to pick up every once and awhile.

Brian and Jae come together. Jae’s wearing his ugly cardigan, his hair pushed back and contacts instead of glasses because he has a nasty habit of losing his glasses when he goes out. Brian’s wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a leather jacket.

Momo greets them, wearing a cream dress and a high ponytail with pieces of hair framing her face.

Momo’s always been a muted version of Sana, which is why they work so well. Every time Momo pulls, Sana pushes and vice versa. Out of all of them, Momo and Sana have been a drama-free constant, an island with sunshine and probably a lot of Margaritas in the rocky sea their friends produce around them.

When Momo takes their presents to pile with the rest and wills them to go mingle, Brian surveys the room to spot everyone.

Nayeon’s here with Jungyeon. The new girlfriend. They’re standing close to each other at one end of the table, smiling while they talk with Sana, who’s sporting pigtails, a pink dress and a party hat.

Brian doesn’t believe in soulmates, love at first or fate but Brian does believe in humanities unflinching fear of loneliness. He sees it in the way Jaebum is pointedly not looking at Nayeon.

Jaebum is flanked by Mark and Jackson, Will They Or Won’t They Couple of the Year, and nursing a half-empty beer bottle. He’s not looking a Jinyoung, either, who looks like he came here with Wonpil and some mystery guy Brian’s never seen before. This is not uncommon for Jinyoung.

Brian can’t see Wonpil or Jinyoung’s face from where he’s standing when he spots them talking in the crowd. Brian can, however, see that mystery man has his hand on the small of Jinyoung’s back, right above the curve of his ass. Brian’s mouth twists into a brief smirk at the corner of it.

Youngjae buzzes around from group to group. He settles on Sana, offering her a hug and an affectionate pinch to cheek. She bats his hands away, smiling as she does.

Jae elbows Brian in the side, gesturing as subtly as he can to Youngjae and Sana. “Ten bucks he still has a crush on her,” he says. Brian’s not taking those odds, not when it’s obvious Youngjae does.

The only two left, the pair Brian settles on last, are Sungjin and Dowoon. It seems Dowoon has managed to beg Momo into giving him a birthday cupcake early and he’s popping the last piece into his mouth and licking frosting off his fingers when Brian and Jae approach.

“Is this everyone?” Brian asks.

“If you’re worried about Ayeon,” Dowoon says, crumbs falling across his shirt from where the spill out of his mouth, “she’s coming with Jimin and Jimin’s new boyfriend. They aren’t here yet.”

Brian opens his mouth to deny that’s what he meant, cut off by Jae suddenly speaking above him. “Jimin has a new boyfriend?”

“Calm down, Big Bro,” Dowoon chides, “just because you refuse to think of her that way doesn’t mean she’s not an adult who can make her own decisions. Don’t have a cow.”

“But she didn’t _tell_ me,” Jae whines with a stomp of his feet. Sungjin and Brian level each other with the same look.

“She literally knew you would be here tonight,” Jungyeon interjects, sliding into the conversation with Nayeon at her side. “And it’s not like this isn’t some New Development, she was gonna tell you all about it when she got here. Don’t have a cow, I’m lactose intolerant.”

Nayeon scoots a little closer to her girlfriend and takes the hand she doesn’t have laced with Jungyeon’s to wave at everybody. “Hi, guys. Long time no see,”

They all agree. None of them bring up how they haven’t seen each other because there’s no way Nayeon could come visit without running the risk of stumbling onto Jaebum. Or how the Three Residents of Casa De Park (“My surname isn’t Park,” “It’s cool how you don’t matter sometimes Brian,”) have been avoiding lower key parties where they know Nayeon is going to be.

By some cruel joke courtesy of the universe, all of a sudden someone is screaming _Saaaanaaaaa, my baby!_ at the top of their lungs and running full speed towards the birthday girl.

“Looks like Jimin’s here,” Sungjin says. He taps a waitresses shoulder as she walks by and orders a shots of whiskey. “Two, please,” and then nods at Brian. Sungjin’s a good friend. He makes a good roommate.

Brian blinks and suddenly Jae’s off to give Jimin the third degree about the blonde who came in with her. Dowoon and Nayeon and Jungyeon are immersed in some conversation about their shared Organic Chemistry class.

There’s nothing to distract Brian. Nothing to keep him from locking eyes with Ayeon as she quietly files to the spot for the party at the back of the bar.

She pushes a piece of hair behind her ear and bites her lip.

Brian looks away.

 

 

 

Brian and Sungjin were in a band together. That’s their shared history. Before the gallery turned apartment and the lease and the four of them and then just the three, Brian played the bass and Sungjin played the guitar and it didn’t work out because they didn’t find anyone to play any other instrument.

“Also you weren’t that good,” Jae says whenever they tell this story.

That’s not the point. The point is that this is how Brian first meets Ayeon.

Brian and Sungjin are playing a quiet bar where no one is paying attention to the two guys with guitars up on stage. All they are is mood music and they’re getting paid pennies for this. It’s whatever.

When Brian sees Ayeon for the first time she’s come with Jimin, who’s only come because she’s an old friend of Jae’s who’s just moved out. Ayeon’s wearing a black dress, slim fit and coming to just above her knees. Her stockings are fishnets.

Brian buys her a drink and then kisses her after they share a cigarette out back. Ayeon has to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him, wrapping her arms around Brian’s neck. She makes all these small noises, too, little hiccups and breaths out.

She makes them even worse when Brian takes her to the men’s bathroom and gets his fingers in her. Like how his thumb pressed against her clit makes her whine high-pitched.

Brian doesn’t take her home. They exchange numbers and, this very first time, they end up dating for about eight months.

By the time their first break up rolls around Ayeon is already a valued member of their circle of friends and Brian has no chance of escaping her.

 

 

 

“Who’s the new guy,” Brian says, nudging his elbow into Jaebum’s side. Jaebum tilts his head at Brian quizzically, until Brian gestures the head of his beer bottle to the dude Jinyoung is adjusting the suit jacket of over by the line of tables.

“Oh,” Jaebum deflates, a little, and Brian almost regrets asking. “His name’s Hyunwoo. He goes to Jinyoung’s gym.”

“Jinyoung told you this?” They’ve stopped watching the exchange by now but out of the corner of his eye Brian can see this Hyunwoo guy lean over to kiss Jinyoung on the cheek.

“He always tells me that shit,” Jaebum takes a sip of his beer, nearing the bottom of it. “I’ll suck his dick and then get an in depth story on how the dude from the gym fucked him in the shower today after they worked out. I’ll get to hear all about how big his biceps and his dick are, or whatever, I stop listening as soon he gets started.”

“Maybe you should stop fucking such a sadistic dick?”

“What can I say,” Jaebum sighs, “I’m a masochist.”

“You gonna crash on the couch tonight?” Brian asks.

“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” Jaebum replies. He gestures at the same waitress Sungjin did earlier, for a new bottle of beer and some shots. “Maybe Nayeon will take me back.”

It’s a joke. Neither of them laugh.

“Brian, my dude,” Jae says, a mile a minute as he latches onto Brian’s arm out of nowhere, “my man, my best friend. I have _details_.”

To an untrained voyeur this seems like the after effects of alcohol. To anyone who knows Jae they know this is just him - everywhere at once and a little overwhelming. It’s enhanced by alcohol but just barely and Jae’s never really been down to get drunk that much anyway.

“Details?” Brian asks. They’ve sang Sana happy birthday and Brian bought her two glasses of pink wine, which she chose only because it was pink. Sana’s the drunkest out of all of them and yet Momo’s spent most the night just looking at her all endeared.

“Jimin’s _boyfriend_ ,” Jae mock-whispers, “I have details.”

“Oh,” Brian blinks, “go on, I suppose.”

“His name is Seungyoun,” Jae starts, waving his hands a little, “he lived in Brazil for awhile? Which is cool. He seems nice. And he’s cute so good for her! But if he breaks her heart I’ll break his nose.”

“You can’t throw a punch to save your life,”

“I would learn, you piece of shit. Plus, I’m basically eight feet tall. I have reach.”

 

 

 

History has a tendency to repeat itself. The universe is funny like that. Life is just a series of things you’ve already done.

This has all happened before. It will all happen again.

 

 

 

As it stands, Brian and Ayeon have been on again and off again for the better part of three years.

(This is when you’re meant remember it, that whole thing earlier about the flint and the match and love. This is when you remember and you think _oh, that makes sense_ and _that must be about them_.

And it is. Sort of.)

“That’s a bad habit,” Ayeon says.

Brian’s leaning against the brick in the alley next to the bar, sucking on the unlit end of a cigarette because that’s all he knows how to do in awkward situations. He could quit - maybe - if he wasn’t so nervous. If he wasn’t so fumbly with his hands in a way that made him feel like he always needed to be doing something with them.

“I heard you quit,” Brian replies. It sounds a lot like _why are you out here_?

Ayeon nods. She’s wearing a tight black skirt, pulling her long casual-style jacket a little tighter around herself to fight off the bite of the wind. It’s December, after all, even if it hasn’t snowed yet. “It’s not good for you,”

Brian blows a slow stream of smoke out of his mouth, “really? I had no idea.”

Ayeon drops her eyes and gives a small smile. She shuffles closer to Brian, moving out from standing on the sidewalk to into the alley itself. It cuts some of the wind. Brian watches her, unblinking, Ayeon’s hair blowing around her face in the glow of a street lamp.

Ayeon is small in so many ways. Small bones and small hands, a small face with small pretty eyes, a small chin that fits into Brian’s palm when he takes it into his hand so he can kiss her. The skin of Ayeon’s face is cold from the wind and Brian’s hand is warm from his cigarette, Ayeon tastes like fruity flavoured alcohol and Brian tastes of ash.

Maybe that’s a metaphor. Who cares.

“I hate that this happens every time,” Ayeon mutters, pressed up against Brian head to toe.

“You’re the one who came outside,” Brian reminds her.

The bathroom in this bar is faux-bourgeois. The soap dispensers are held by ornate gold tendrils that are made out of plastic. The counter looks like granite but probably isn’t. The sink is one of those bowls that sits on top of the vanity instead of inside it. The faucet is gold but only painted that colour.

Tucked into a corner is a full-length mirror. Brian’s hand beside Ayeon’s head as they lean against it makes a smudged print.

Brian’s hiked up her skirt a little, so it brushes a high point of her thighs. He uses the hand not pressed against the mirror to push her legs apart at the inner thigh.

A lot of people ask Brian if he’s in love with Ayeon. This has happened before and it’s happening again and how else do you explain that? Brian doesn’t date anyone between Ayeon, The Last Time and Ayeon, The Next Time and how else do you explain _that_?

The truth is Brian doesn’t know. Is he in love with Ayeon now? Did he love her before? Will he love her some other day, not this one, far away from this moment or closer than he could anticipate?

Brian doesn’t know, he just knows the noises Ayeon makes when he slides his fingers into her cunt.

 

 

 

On the way home in the taxi, Jae puts his head on Brian’s shoulder and mumbles, “so you and Ayeon.”

“Me and Ayeon?” Brian feigns ignorance.

Jae hums in the back of his throat, eyes closed. “You and Ayeon. If you’re about to get back together I should let you know I finger-banged her in the bathroom at Jinyoung’s party about a month ago.”

“You _what_?” Brian nearly shrieks.

Jae’s passed out cold on his shoulder already.

(The next morning, Brian offers Jae a cup of coffee and a slice of toast and says, diplomatically, “about that finger-banging.”

Jae drops his head onto their dining room table with a thunk. “Look, look, Brian. My man. My dude, my bro, my best friend. You told me you were over her.”

“So you’d thought you’d see what all the not-fuss was about?”

“I’ll level with you,” Jae replies, lifting his head and perching it on his arms when he folds them in front of him. “I wasn’t really thinking about that while it was happening. I was more thinking well, damn, this is Ayeon, these are all her womanly juices all over my hand -”

“Okay, _that_ is gross -”

Jae cuts Brian off smoothly. “And wow, Ayeon is so small? I mean I’m a giant but wow, Ayeon’s a bean sprout. I wonder if Brian found her small? - and that’s the moment I remembered the whole you and Ayeon thing but by then I’d already produced a healthy orgasm out of her.”

“This was an awful conversation,” Brian says in horror, “and I regret having it.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Jae plucks another piece of toast off the plate Brian set in the middle of the table and starts slathering it with raspberry jam. “It’s not like it’s a big deal. I mean, you and I are cool and there was that one time in college that we -”

“We are not doing this right after you’ve told me about how finger-banged my ex,” Brian interrupts. Jae shrugs and pops a piece of his toast into his mouth.)

 

 

 

“Have you considered joining a convent?” Jimin says over brunch, “Taking a vow of celibacy? Give yourself over to the Lord, Ayeon!”

Ayeon glares.

They’re at this tiny cafe in a booth by a window. The waitresses wear white button downs and these ugly pastel pink aprons. They’ve both ordered orange juice, only Jimin has champagne in her glass too.

Ayeon has a plate of fruit and a croissant, Jimin’s gone for a crepe with chocolate and bananas.

“At the very least,” Jimin explains, spearing a piece of crepe with her fork, “if you join a convent you won’t have to see Brian again.”

Ayeon rips apart her croissant with her fingers. “Or, I could just - like,” she bites back, “get new friends.”

Jimin points at Ayeon with her fork. “That’s a solid idea. The problem with that, you see, is that you love me. If you join a convent I can come visit, though,” Jimin sticks the bite of food into her mouth.

 

 

 

“I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself,” Jinyoung rolls off his tongue condescendingly.

Brian’s on the phone with him, kicking rocks on the way back from buying cigarettes. “Fuck you,” Brian replies.

Jinyoung laughs. There’s a brief pause - Brian hears Jinyoung speaking muffled to someone in the background. “Who’s there?” He asks.

“He’s leaving,” Jinyoung deflects. Brian hums disapprovingly. “This isn’t about me, anyway, this is a about you. Are you going to get back together? That’ll make it what - the fifth time? The sixth?”

“I don’t know why I called you for advice when you’re just being a dick,” Brian digs for his keys in his back pocket, balancing his phone between his face and shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter what I say,” Jinyoung breathes out, “it’s not like you ever listen.”

 

 

 

Mark and Jackson throw a New Year’s Eve party.

“I’m sure this is more booze than you need,” Youngjae says, thumbing the top of a few of the bottles Jackson has laid out.

“You underestimate the sheer Lit-ness of this party, Choi Youngjae,” Jackson says, smacking Youngjae’s hand away from a bottle of raspberry vodka.

Mark rolls eyes. “We went to this party last week,” he explains, “hosted by some cool people. Jackson invited them tonight. It’s a Volume of Alcohol dick measuring contest.”

Jackson attempts to level Mark with a hard punch in the shoulder, only Mark is anticipating it and dodges perfectly. Jackson ends up with his fist in Youngjae’s gut.

Brian watches this unfold from his spot leaning against the wall. Him and Sungjin have showed up early, half to help get set up and half to keep Jackson from being the one to play his _TURN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ playlist on his phone as the soundtrack to the night. Youngjae’s here too, obviously, and Mark and Jackson because they live here.

Ayeon’s coming. Mark’s already subtly took Brian off into the kitchen under the disguise of opening up bags of chips to tell him.

“Is it still awkward?” Mark had asked.

Brian opened his mouth to reply only to click it shut when Jackson had arrived into the room, stating, “Jae told me he finger-banged her at Sana’s birthday party, I’m sure they’re fine,”

“Wait, back up,” Mark had shook his head, “why would Jae finger-banging Ayeon at Sana’s party solve anything with Brian?”

“Jae didn’t finger-bang her at Sana’s birthday, you idiot. Brian did. Jae just told me about it.”

“Can we stop saying _finger-bang_ and all words adjacent to it?” Brian had pleaded, face in his palm.

 

 

 

The two additions tonight turn out to be Ilhoon and Sungjae, who Brian has never met but make quite the entrance, arms full of booze and basically screaming at the top of their lungs. It’s pretty obvious from that moment why Jackson likes them.

Wonpil’s managed to get himself in charge of the music tonight. He’s playing some hipster shit, the kind of music Wonpil can get annoying about if you ask him too many questions, but it’s better than indulging Jackson with a constant loop of Work and Hotline Bling.

It’s also kind of mellow and regardless of whatever Jackson Wang wants to convince you of sometimes mellow is nice.

Some of them are missing. Jaebum’s elected to spend New Year’s by himself, though Brian is supposed to tell everyone he went home because he couldn’t make it back for Christmas. Momo and Sana aren’t here either, but from what Brian’s heard those two are actually visiting family.

Ayeon’s come alone, too, but Brian doesn’t know if that means Jimin’s not coming or if she’s just going to show up later.

She’s mingling with Nayeon and Jungyeon, nursing a cup of the ugly punch that Jackson concocted like some grade school science experiment. Let’s see how much we can mix before we actually make poison, or blow something up.

Ayeon keeps darting her eyes to Brian once and awhile. The air between them isn’t awkward, at least not right now, it’s more electrically charged. A static between them that hasn’t stopped since they kissed at Sana’s birthday.

“I need to piss,” Brian says, excusing himself from the circle of conversation he’s in with Sungjin, Jae and Dowoon. Before he rounds the corner down the hallway to the bathroom Brian sees Jinyoung making out with Wonpil on Mark and Jackson’s loveseat.

Maybe it’s a good thing Jaebum decided to stay home.

The bathroom door is unlocked, the handle yielding under Brian’s twist and the door opening without a problem.

Someone should have locked it.

“Oh shit,” Brian splutters, lifting his arm to shield his eyes, “hey Jackson, lock the door the next time you wanna let a new friend take your dick out, okay?”

“Duly noted,” the other guy - not Jackson, the guy who had Jackson’s dick in his mouth a second ago. Ilhoon, that guy, he says, “duly noted. Make sure you shut the door tight on your way out.”

 

 

 

“Mark, Mark,” Brian says, tugging on the sleeve of his friends sweater, “you have an en suite, right?”

Mark, interrupted from the conversation he was having with that other new guy - Sungjae, that guy - and Sungjin, lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah. There’s a bathroom down the hall, though?” Mark gestures vaguely.

“Occupied,” Brian explains, “Jackson’s in there.”

Brian can barely hear Sungjae under his breath, saying, “that’s where Ilhoon went.”

Mark turns to Sungjae to ask, “what,” but Brian’s already off to the bathroom before he can hear any answers.

 

 

 

“I think I broke up a happy and healthy marriage,” Brian says to Ayeon.

She’s ducked into the kitchen Brian doesn’t know how long ago, quietly standing by the sink and checking her phone. She looked up when Brian came in, gave him a small smile. Now, however, she’s frowning. “What do you mean?”

“Jackson and Mark,” Brian explains, “I spilled the accidental beans about Jackson hooking up with one of those new dudes he invited over tonight.”

“Him and Mark are -”

“No, they aren’t, but,” Brian gestures his hands oddly, wibbly and wobbly, “they’re complicated.”

“Like you and me?” Ayeon says, smirking at Brian over the lip of her cup.

“No, I’d say we’re pretty predictable,”

(Here’s why: Ayeon hums into her glass after Brian tells her this. Brian puts his hand on her thigh, over the fabric of her skinny jeans, and boxes her in against Mark and Jackson’s kitchen sink. The metal feels cool where his fingers curl around it, a contrast to heat that comes off Ayeon’s skin when Brian puts his other hand on her hip.

And it’s so fucking predictable that he kisses her after that. It’s not the first time and it won’t be last, he kisses her and everyone tonight probably put bets on this. Because they’re so fucking predictable.

Brian hoists Ayeon onto the sink to get a better angle. Ayeon nevers takes her mouth off of his, keeps kissing him and kissing him. Because they’re so predictable.

“You wanna come over tonight?” Brian asks, kissing the corner of Ayeon’s mouth and brushing stray hairs out of her eyes.

“I haven’t been over since we broke up,” she says, pretty eyes looking up at him through her lashes.

“Is that a no?”

Ayeon shakes her head.)

 

 

 

Ayeon wakes first.

Brian’s still passed out next to her, laying on his stomach with his back exposed where the blankets have shifted low. Ayeon slips quietly out of the spot beside him, tugging on her clothes and haphazardly throwing her hair up into a bun.

The problem is Brian’s floor plan is his apartment is all open concept. Four bedrooms at one side of a large space that consists of the kitchen, living room, dining room table, and a bathroom on the other side.

This is a problem. The problem is there’s no way to avoid Jae sitting on the couch plucking at Sungjin’s guitar, or Sungjin himself in the kitchen drinking tea.

“Oh, Ayeon,” Jae says, sitting up, interrupting a rough rendition of what might have been Outkast’s Miss Jackson. “Nice to see you, come here often?”

“Likewise,” Ayeon clears his throat, “and no, not lately.”

Sungjin offers her breakfast, next, because of course he’s the kind of gentlemanly guy that’s oblivious to making a quick exit the morning after. Probably a cuddler, too. Of the three boys who live in this apartment Ayeon really had to pick Brian.

Ayeon’s too polite, too, so it’s also kinda her fault she accepts Sungjin’s offer and lets him pour her coffee and offer her a banana and some buttered toast. “We haven’t done groceries lately,”

As far as Ayeon knows Sungjin is the only one among them who works. Jae picks up random part-time jobs here and there, mostly coding to make use of his degree and that one time he worked the Geek Squad at BestBuy. Brian hasn’t had a steady job since he graduated.

“You never make me breakfast, Sungjinnie,” Jae whines from the couch. Miss Jackson has seemingly morphed into actual songs _by_ Janet Jackson, which Ayeon has admittedly never heard someone try to play on the guitar.

“That’s because I don’t like you,”

“A lie,” Jae says with a hard strum of the guitar, “between me and Brian I’m definitely your favourite.”

“Please be careful with my guitar.”

 

 

 

“So,” Jae says, “you and Ayeon.”

It’s late evening and she’s long gone. Brian woke up just before she said goodbye, offering him a small kiss and squeeze of his arm. Brian’s sitting on the couch watching Jae arbitrarily flick through channels.

“Me and Ayeon.” Brian says dryly as The Big Bang Theory flicks by, a movie on the next channel, someone selling something on the next.

“Are you dating again?” Sungjin supplies. He’s on the side of the couch farthest from Brian, computer sitting in his lap. Probably doing something responsible. Planning his meals for the next month, doing his taxes.

“We haven’t talked about it,” Brian replies truthfully. They haven’t. It hasn’t come up. Or maybe they’re both avoiding the subject.

Sungjin shuts his laptop and puts it on the coffee table. “Are you planning to get back together?”

“I don’t _know_ ,” Brian says, a little short, “what’s with the third degree? I’m twenty three and pretty capable of making my own decisions.”

“And we all know you make stupid ones,” Sungjin fires back, “I’m just making sure you know what you want before you go chasing something you don’t.”

“I don’t know what I want, Sungjin,” Brian’s letting frustration seep into his voice without filter now.

“You’re a twenty-three year old disillusioned by his mundane life who doesn’t know what he wants, boo fucking hoo,” Sungjin snaps, “join the club, it’s not that exclusive. Doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole who strings someone along for the eight hundredth time,”

“Oh fuck you,”

“No, listen,” Sungjin moves to the edge of the couch, perched right on the end and looking Brian in the eyes, “you need to figure out where your head’s at before you go chasing something that’s never worked out before.”

“And end up like you?” Jae goes straight-backed from where he was relaxing on the couch, unfazed, at Brian’s words. He puts a hand on Brian’s arm to stop him but it’s too late. “Sitting here sad Jinyoung never calls you up to fuck because you refuse to just be ‘that’ for him? And all that’s convinced him of, obviously, is that you’re not actually interested. Good fucking luck,”

(See, we told you we would give you more on that later).

 

 

 

“Brian Kang,” Jinyoung says, “have I got a story for you.”

“It’s gotta be real juicy if you’re phoning me,” Brian mumbles into the receiver, cigarette perched in his mouth that he’s trying to light. He’s more or less stormed out his apartment, leaving Sungjin with his mouth agape on the couch and Jae calling after him.

“Oh it is,” Brian can almost see Jinyoung, leaning forward a little with anticipation, always a horrible gossip, “Mark slept with Jaebum.”

Brian’s jaw goes slack, his cigarette almost dropping to the dirty sidewalk below him. “What? Who told you?”

“Jaebum did, of course he did,” Jinyoung sounds almost smug, “he came over and I said oh, Jaebum, how are you and he just said I fucked Mark. I didn’t believe it at first, obviously, but he looked so serious. I don’t know why he was telling me, though.”

Brian doesn’t say: he was trying to get a reaction out of it, he was trying to see if you felt anything similar to him when you’re with someone else. He doesn’t say anything of this, just puffs leisurely on his cigarette and mumbles, “don’t know.”

“He’s gone now,” Jinyoung confesses. It doesn’t sound like he means to say this, like it’s slipping past the hard marble that usually covers Jinyoung’s face and feelings. “And he’s not answering my calls.”

“It doesn’t matter what I say,” Brian echoes Jinyoung’s words back to him, “you never listen to me.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Jinyoung hangs up.

 

 

 

Brian gets a text from Jaebum.

 _I’m thinking of moving back in,_ it says.

Brian tells him to talk to Sungjin.

 

 

 

Maybe history doesn’t repeat itself. Maybe people would just rather do what they already know.

“We’ve all known each other too damn long,” Ayeon says.

One day, in the future, Brian and Ayeon will finally give up on each other. No one knows this yet but us: one day they give up. It’ll be a good thing for the both of them. Neither of them will ever grow out of the habit of thinking _what if_ though.

Brian blows a cloud of smoke from his mouth and watches it dissipate, “I know.”

 

 

 

Here’s the thing about love: it hardly ever works out the way you expect.

**Author's Note:**

> i know this ended really open with a lot of unresolved conflict but that was kind of the point LOL. may revisit this 'verse some day.


End file.
